LIVING HELL NOW AVAILABLE

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HERE IS THE SUMMARY FRO THE MOVIE LIVING HELL FROM IMDB

In a top secret Cold War military project an unstoppable, malignant organism who feeds on light and energy is unleashed, threatening to destroy everything in it's path, and the only person who can stop it is a schoolteacher Frank Sears, along the help of a specialist Carrie Freeborn ... Written by Cookie

All his life schoolteacher Frank Sears has carried with him a strange scar given to him by his mother before she committed suicide. The markings lead Frank to a top secret Cold War military project where an unstoppable, malignant organism is unleashed. Unaware that the creature feeds on light and energy, and moves with exponential speed, the army prepares to deploy its most sinister of all weapons - a nuclear bomb. Facing certain global catastrophe, Frank discovers his father had a diabolical connection to the creature's origin. With a ticking nuclear clock, Frank, along with the help of a hazmat specialist Carrie Freeborn, must confront the grim reality that only he is capable of stopping this living hell. Written by Strok

HERE IS A REVIEW FOR THE MOVIE LIVING HELL FROM DVDTALK

Shugo Fujii's Living Hell (2000) is a low budget horror film that was made in nine days for around $100,000. By no means great, for a film made in nine days, it is better than you would think.

Yasu is a wheelchair bound twenty-two year old living with his father, sister, and brother. His condition is mental, and his fragile constitution is put to a very extreme test when two relatives move in, an old, seemingly senile, woman, Chiyo, and her mute, anorexic looking granddaughter Yuki. For some reason, at night and during the day while the others are gone, Chiyo and Yuki begin to torture Yasu. His family assumes that Yasu's stories are part of his mental state. Unbeknownst to Yasu, while he suffers at the duo's hands, a tabloid reporter is tracking the strange case of a murderous old woman and her granddaughter, a twisted tale involving siamese twins, a mad doctor, and the lineage of a family gone mad.

While the packaging uses The Texas Chainsaw Massacre as a suitable comparison, I think Living Hell has more similarities with DePalma's Sisters and Polanski's Repulsion, not to mention an ending that obviously echo's the classic twisteroo from Psycho. Rough? In need of refinement? Cheap? Sure. But, horror is tricky, and I've seen genre films with five times the budget and filming schedule that weren't half as good. You cannot help but factor that into your thinking. It is passable b-fare with a few neat little moments that should be interesting for the more forgiving b-horror fans out there.

Living Hell has an exaggerated style, giallo color scheme, extreme fish eye camera lenses, dramatic music cues, and some severe overacting. One of the pitfalls that often occurs when directors put a surreal stylistic edge on their horror film is a lack of characterization. Things move pretty briskly and, aside from his worried face and wheelchair bound status, you never really feel any depth to Yasu. If he would have been humanized more, you would actually care about his predicament, but as it is, the movie would rather get on with the torture and bog itself down explaining its muddled premise.

Probably due to budgetary reasons, some of the torture is left to the imagination and kept to pretty simple shock stuff ("What's in the covered dinner dish? - Oh no, it's my parakeet!") . Yasu gets a taser to the genitals, pliers to his teeth, turned into a human dartboard, pushed into traffic, fed cockroaches and, as far as viewers are concerned, his plight might as well be the same as Wile E. Coyote's. Call me a sicko, but I could have actually done with some more graphic torture. With its cartoonish style, committing to even more sleaze and getting more down and dirty would be fine because the film wasn't aiming for realism anyway.

The films better moments occur early on with poor Yasu trapped in the house and the mystery intact. The film limps along in the final third with a bunch of nonsense explanations and a finale that falls apart with bad, bad, bad psycho acting (Honestly, what modern acting school teaches that a functioning psycho goes from seeming perfectly normal to excessive crazy-face mannerisms and twitchy body?) Still, you can tell just from the editing that film was a rushed production, and, even if the sum total of the film is sloppy, the amount of inspired creepy bits are very admirable. And, I'm a bit of a sucker for any film with dialogue like, "It was their very craziness that makes them so intelligent."

The DVD: Subversive Cinema

Picture: Non-anamorphic Wide-screen. Taking into account its limitations, you have to be a little kind to the rough image. Sure, it isn't anamorphic, but it was most likely never intended for theatrical distribution. A little grainy. Sometimes a little soft. The image has a mudded definition, but you do get the sense that, given the source quality, things cannot get a great deal better. I'll give it half a point more, just because it looks better than, for instance, the Tomie transfers.

Sound: Dolby 2.0 Surround, Japanese language with optional English subtitles. The dialogue has some weak production quirks so there are times where it is a bit low compared to the music and fx. The rear channel really pumps up the already too overused score, which is one of the films worst points. The commentary track reveals that the cheesy one-dimensional score was done by the directors friend- some friend, I say.

Extras: Trailers for Living Hell, Gemini, The Witch Who Came From The Sea and Battelfield Baseball--- Storyboards--- Deleted Scenes (6:00). Taken from a workprint, these scenes are in a rough state, and are basic conversation scenes that are, unfortunately, not subtitled.— Extensive Director's Bio— Short Films by director Shugo Fujii. Blackhole (14:26). Grief (17:46). Seasaw Game (28:44). Dead Money (19:42). The first two are black and white silent films that (and I don't mean this in a bad way) have a student film stink to them. Seasaw Game was his student thesis film. Dead Money was part of an anthology series.— Commentary by director Shugo Fujii. Despite a substantial education in the US, Shugo Fujii has shaky command of English and has a habit of dropping his articles. Unfortunately this is the case where a moderator/second person on the commentary was greatly needed. There are very long moments where Fujii flat out forgets to talk which, combined with his unsure command of the language, makes for a very boring track. After a long pause he actually says, somewhat begrudgingly, "Well, anyway, the film never stops, so I have to keep on talking."

Conclusion: New kids on the block Subversive Cinema do a good job with iffy material and this transfer should go a long way towards putting them on cult film fans radar. With the feature and the shorts you basically get the sum total of Shugo Fujii's directorial work. Worth a casual purchase for the curious Japanese horror fan, Living Hell is best reserved as a rental for the average horror viewer.

HERE IS THE DIRECT DOWNLOAD FOR THE MOVIE LIVING HELL 1 OF 3.

HERE IS THE DIRECT DOWNLOAD FOR THE MOVIE LIVING HELL 2 OF 3.

HERE IS THE DIRECT DOWNLOAD FOR THE MOVIE LIVING HELL 3 OF 3.

JUNO NOW AVAILABLE

JUNO NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE

HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR THE MOVIE JUNO FROM IMDB

Sixteen year-old Juno MacGuff is the type of girl that beats to her own drummer, and doesn't really care what others may think of her. She learns that she's pregnant from a one-time sexual encounter with her best friend, Paulie Bleeker. Juno and Paulie like each other, but don't consider themselves to be exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend let alone be ready to be a family complete with child. Although she would rather not be pregnant, Juno is fairly pragmatic about her situation. Although there, Paulie really leaves all the decisions about the baby to Juno. Initially she decides that she will have an abortion, but that's something that she ultimately cannot go through with. So she decides to have the baby and give it up for adoption. But first she has to tell her father, Mac, and stepmother, Bren, that she is pregnant. Although they would have preferred if Juno was on hard drugs or expelled from school, Mac and Bren too are pragmatic about Juno's situation. The next step is to find prospective parents for the yet unborn child. In the Pennysaver ad section, Juno finds Mark and Vanessa Loring, a yuppie couple living in the suburbs. Juno likes the Lorings, and in some respects has found who looks to be a kindred spirit in Mark, with whom she shares a love of grunge music and horror films. Vanessa is a little more uptight and is the one in the relationship seemingly most eager to have a baby. On her own choosing, Juno enters into a closed rather than open adoption contract with the Lorings - meaning she will have no contact with the baby after she gives it up. During the second and third trimesters of Juno's pregnancy which she treats with care but detachment, Juno's relationships with her family, with Paulie, and with the Lorings develop, the latter whose on the surface perfect life masks some hidden problems. Written by Huggo

HERE IS A REVIEW FOR THE MOVIE JUNO FROM DVDTALK.

"It's probably just a food baby," says 16-year-old Juno's best friend Leah when Juno says she's pregnant. "Did you have a big lunch?"

No, there was no big lunch. Juno is pregnant for realsies, and "Juno" is one of the year's snappiest, snarkiest, most quotable comedies. Diablo Cody, a former stripper who's now a writer, penned the screenplay, and she populated it with hip characters who speak not in the manner of real people but in the manner of self-aware movie characters. And yet, just as Joss Whedon accomplished with his TV series (notably "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Firefly"), "Juno's" people can pepper their language with stylized slang and still come off as believable, human characters.

Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page) is the kind of Middle American high schooler who's too interesting to be popular and too savvy to care. She listens to cool '70s bands and watches obscure foreign horror films, palling around with her best friend Leah (Olivia Thirlby) in her off hours. She also has a platonic guy friend, Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera). They became slightly more than platonic on a recent night -- boredom was a factor -- and now Juno's oven has a bun in it. Bleeker's bun.

Her first instinct is to "take care of it" ("I'm just calling to procure a hasty abortion," she says when she phones the clinic), but she thinks better of it and chooses the adoption route instead. She tells Leah they should give the baby to "a woman with a bum ovary, or a couple of nice lesbos."

Instead, they find the Lorings, a generically nice couple who live in a generically nice home in a generically nice subdivision. Vanessa (Jennifer Garner) badly wants a baby; her husband Mark (Jason Bateman) seems to be going along with it, though it's clear to us he has reservations. They meet with Juno and her father (J.K. Simmons) and offer to pay all her medical expenses. The arrangements are made. Everyone is happy.

Vanessa, a little nervous and uptight, reacts to the outspoken, seemingly carefree Juno the way a normal person would: Is this girl for real? Mark, on the other hand, "gets" Juno. Though he's in his mid to late 30s, Mark in a state of arrested development, playing his guitar, collecting comic books, and watching cheesy movies -- in other words, behaving just like Juno. Who is 16. The brilliant irony of the film is that Mark is trying too hard to be cool ... which is exactly what some people will accuse the film itself of doing.

The talent involved in "Juno" is enviable. It's director Jason Reitman's second film, after the dark satire "Thank You for Smoking," and he's only improving with age. He favors understatement and deadpan wit, but he's not afraid to let a little emotion come through when it's needed. Furthermore, while I'd never heard of Diablo Cody before -- I'm not up on my strippers-turned-writers -- her exceedingly well-written screenplay here should secure her a place in Hollywood for as long as she can crank out funny characters and literate dialogue.

J.K. Simmons and Allison Janney are more than just parental buffoons as Juno's folks, while Bateman and Garner have the plastic smiles of bland suburban affluence down pat. Michael Cera's gift for stammery teenage awkwardness has been documented numerous times already, most recently in "Superbad," and it's nice to see that it's not getting old yet. The kid can still wring more laughs out of not knowing what to say than almost anyone.

The outstanding writing and direction aside, "Juno" might have failed if it didn't have a capable actress in the lead role. Ellen Page is most recognizable for playing Kitty Pryde (the one who can walk through walls) in "X-Men: The Last Stand," though certain audiences will remember her performance in the disturbing thriller "Hard Candy," where she played a girl who turns the tables on a would-be pedophile. Barely out of her teens, Page has shown remarkable common sense and discernment in choosing her projects. "Juno" lets her show off her comedic chops and razor-sharp timing, all in the service of a character whose effortless charm is her most endearing trait.

There's a delicate line between "likably quirky" and "trying too hard to be quirky." I think "Juno" steps on the wrong side a couple times (the pop-culture reference Juno makes when her water breaks is a bit of a reach), but not enough to diminish the pleasure I take in the film overall. It's an absolute delight.

HERE IS THE DIRECT DOWNLOAD FOR THE MOVIE JUNO.

AIR FORCE ONE NOW AVAILABLE

AIR FORCE ONE NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE


HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR THE MOVIE AIR FORCE ONE FROM IMDB

The President of the United States is on a journey home after making a speech in Moscow. But on the journey, Russian hi-jakers take over the plane, disguising themselves as newspaper reporters. They want the President to ring Moscow and release General Redek. But they think that the President has escaped in the pod. But the president is really still on board air force One attempting to regain control of the plane and to rescue his wife and daughter. Written by Dilen Foster

The President of the USA goes to Moscow and gives a stirring speech outlining the USA's new "Zero-tolerance" policy with respect to terrorism. On the flight home, terrorists take over Air Force One (the President's official plane) and take the passengers (including his wife and daughter) hostage. The terrorists plan to execute one hostage every half-hour unless/until their demands are met. However, the President is a former Medal of Honor winner, so the terrorists may be in for a surprise... Written by Afterburner {aburner@erols.com}

Harrison Ford and Gary Oldman star in this thriller about a steadfast U.S. President who has just told the world he will not negotiate with terrorists. Now, Russian neo-nationalists have hijacked Air Force One and the President is faced with a nearly impossible decison: give in to terrorist demands or sacrifice not only the country's dignity, but the lives of his wife and daughter. Written by Robert Lynch {docrlynch@yahoo.com}

HERE IS THE DIRECT DOWNLOAD FOR THE MOVIE AIR FORCE ONE 1 OF 3.

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WHOLE LOT OF STEPHEN KING FILMS NOW AVAILABLE

WHOLE LOT OF STEPHEN KING FILMS NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE

HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR THE MOVIE IT ONE OF A FEW MOVIES AVAILABLE

A series of murders prompts Mike Hanlon to suspect that the supernatural menace that he and a group of friends battled as children has returned. He begins to call his friends to remind them of the oath they swore: if It returned again, they would come back to Derry to do battle again. Written by Murray Chapman {muzzle@cs.uq.oz.au}

A group of adults take a blast from the past. They remember when they were nerds in school, hanging out, victim of bullies. But nothing out of the question compares with one big bully of Evil unspeakable. the bully is a monster in a clowns suit. He is deadly, can be any were anyone, at any time. with supernatural powers. They call him "IT". Written by sam

In the quiet town of Derry, Maine, Seven freinds, Bill, Eddie, Mike, Bev, Stan, Richie and Ben (the losers club) have all been seeing and hearing strange things. Most of which revolve around a Clown called pennywise in which they all admit being real, the kids eventually discover that the leader of the club, Bill's little brother fell victim to this evil. The group sets out to stop the force and put it to rest once and for all. 30 years after defeating IT, Mike Hanlon, the only Member who remained in derry, is suspecting that IT has returned and is forced to call back all of the Losers club, due to a promise they all made to return if its evil shall ever resurface. Uncovering new powers, clues and evil the club reunites as adults and come face to face with the evil that has haunted and fed on derry for the last centuries. Written by Yas

Derry, Maine is a quiet town, terrorized every 30 years by a horror known only as "It". The only victims of "It" are children. Through the form of a clown named Pennywise, "It" wakes up every 30 years and feeds. The adults of Derry act like "It" doesn't happen. Ironically they know about "It", but the events are too horrible to talk about. Seven outcasts, know as The Lucky Seven, Bill, Ben, Beverly, Eddie, Richie, Mike, and Stan are able to defeat "It" as children and make a pact to return and do battle again should the terror return. Now 30 years later, Mike Hanlon who stayed behind, is puzzled by a bizarre occurance of child murders. When he discovers that "It" has come back, he reunites what's left of The Lucky Seven, now in their middle ages to do battle once again, and "It" is ready. The Lucky Seven must now defeat "It" and cure Derry of "The Derry Disease". Written by Geoffrey A. Middleton {gamidd01@morehead-st.edu}

HERE IS A REVIEW FOR A FEW OF STEPHEN KINGS FILMS THAT ARE AVAILABLE
The movie

An extremely popular as well as a prolific writer, Stephen King may well turn out to be the Charles Dickens of the 20th and 21st centuries: telling gripping stories designed to chill and thrill the reader, while capturing with remarkable accuracy the day-to-day lives, worries, obsessions, fears, and hopes of the small-town New Englanders who are so often the protagonists of his works. With King's focus on storytelling, it's no surprise that much of his work has been translated to the screen; like King's body of written work, these film adaptations span the spectrum from brilliant to merely entertaining to occasionally clunky. The Stephen King Collector's Set offers four films ranging from outstanding to good: Misery, The Dark Half, Carrie, and Needful Things.

Misery

Misery is that exceptional creature: an outstanding novel that ends up as an equally outstanding film. Misery has to stand as one of King's best novels, possibly even his very best. The combination of intense psychological pressure, nail-biting physical terror, and fascinating glimpses into the writer's mind make Misery pack quite a punch... especially since it's one of King's leaner novels. The film version doesn't try to stick word-for-word with the novel, instead choosing the wiser path: being faithful to the larger experience of the book while making changes where necessary to make the on-screen experience as gripping as the reading experience.

The co-stars of Misery are key to the film's success: Kathy Bates, as the demented Annie, and James Caan, as the writer she dotes on, both bring considerable depth to their roles. Bates deservedly won an Academy Award for her performance in this film, and Caan is no slouch either; between the two of them, the tension in Misery is palpable throughout, and scene after scene is held at a nail-bitingly high pitch. This isn't a fluffy piece of entertainment that will be quickly forgotten... Misery will stick with you.

Carrie

Carrie, presented here as the 25th Anniversary Special Edition, is a stylishly crafted and entertaining movie. As befits the title character, Carrie herself is a memorable figure, grippingly portrayed by Sissy Spacek: she's both sympathetic and occasionally repellent, helpless yet powerful, and we see in her both the potential for beauty and for destruction.

Given the film's fairly straightforward narrative, I was pleasantly surprised and impressed by the cinematography and directing choices throughout the film. Brian De Palma brings a stylish and visually interesting approach to the film, using a variety of methods to present a subjective point of view at various times in the film, especially during the climactic prom scene. But he never overdoes it, using his "tricks," like one split-screen sequence that shows the chaos in the gym from different angles, sparingly so that we're always kept engaged and never become jaded.

At 98 minutes, Carrie is a tightly paced movie as well, and it's all to the good. We see enough to understand Carrie as the underdog in "high school hell" (which isn't overstated; Carrie's abilities may be exceptional, but her social environment is distressingly commonplace), and to be touched by the potential for her to open up and go beyond the cruel psychological limits placed on her by her fanatical mother. And from there, the tragedy ticks forward step by step to the climax; we don't need to know any more about Carrie's background than what we guess from her confrontations with her mother.

The Dark Half

The Dark Half, like Misery, is another story that puts a writer on center stage: this time a writer named Thad Beaumont (Timothy Hutton) finds that when he figuratively "kills off" his alter ego, a pseudonym that he used to write gruesome pulp novels, he ends up having to face a literal, and very dangerous, embodiment of his own divided creative self.

The Dark Half is perhaps most interesting in the way it expresses some of King's own uncertainties and fears about his writing process. King wrote a number of novels under the pseudonym "Richard Bachman" at the same time that he was also publishing under his own name; eventually the two alter egos were reunited and Bachman was revealed as really being King, but it brings up some interesting ideas about the nature of the writing process.

All in all, The Dark Half is a reasonably entertaining film, one that is memorable more from particular scenes (such as those involving the sparrows that feature highly in the story) rather than from the overall story.

Needful Things

Needful Things takes on a challenging task: adapting one of King's longer novels. At 736 pages in my copy, it's quite a doorstop... and much of the novel's space is spent building up the characters, slowly revealing their weaknesses, showing how those weaknesses are exploited, and building up to a devastating finale. The film version does a creditable job in condensing the story's essential elements down far enough to fit into a two-hour film while still telling an entertaining story. The cast of characters is fairly large, with a number of important secondary figures along with Alan (Ed Harris) and Polly (Bonnie Bedelia), but the film does an excellent job of introducing them and handling them throughout the film, so there's never any confusion about who is who.

One element that stands out as absolutely perfect in Needful Things, however, is Max Von Sidow as "Leland Gaunt." I won't spoil the film by revealing anything about the character, but suffice it to say that Von Sidow's portrayal of Gaunt as an urbane, distinguished gentleman... with a bit of an evil gleam in his eye... is spot-on.

The one point that rankled with me about Needful Things is the film's conclusion, which is substantially different from that of the book. The novel has a truly apocalyptic conclusion and an overall darker tone in which each of the town's residents must battle his or her inner demon alone; the few individual victories are made more profound by the backdrop of devastation. On the other hand, the film does a Hollywood-style revision to create a positive, even uplifting finale, complete with inspirational speeches that convince others to see the error of their ways. That's not to say that the body count in the film version of Needful Things is low; it's still a dark vision of evil in a small town, but the very unnecessary revision of the story in the film saps it of some of its potential power.

The DVD

The four DVDs in this set are packaged in individual keepcases, exactly as they are packaged when sold separately, inside an attractive paper slipcase.

Video

Misery's transfer is widescreen, at its original 1.85:1 aspect ratio, but unfortunately it is not anamorphically enhanced. The transfer is adequate, but far from great, with heavy edge enhancement and some noise appearing in the image. I also noticed what appeared to be some compression artifacts, not surprising given that the widescreen image is forced to share the disc with a pan-and-scan version on the flip side.

Carrie is presented in its original 1.85:1 aspect ratio, and is anamorphically enhanced. The image quality is quite good, certainly above average for a film from the 1970s. Colors are natural and clean, and edge enhancement is moderate. Detail is quite good in close-up and medium-distance shots; long-distance images are softer and lacking in some detail, but on the whole it looks fine. The print is fairly free of noise, the only fault here is the appearance of a few large print flaws here and there.

The Dark Half, distressingly, is presented only in a pan-and-scan transfer that butchers the original widescreen aspect ratio of the film. This renders the transfer completely unacceptable in my book. But in addition to that, the transfer isn't even particularly good. Heavy edge enhancement renders the image less clear, and the picture has a slightly reddish tone to it overall.

Needful Things offers an anamorphic widescreen image that is presented at the film's original aspect ratio of 1.85:1. It's a decent transfer, with natural-looking colors, good contrast, and a print that's free of flaws. A moderate amount of noise and edge enhancement keep it from being as good as it could be.

Audio

Misery and The Dark Half both offer a Dolby 2.0 soundtrack that's satisfactory for the requirements of the film.

Carrie's DVD offers a choice of a remastered Dolby 5.1 and the original mono soundtracks. There's not lot to say for the 5.1 track, which puts a little bit of surround action to the sides a couple of times during the movie, but otherwise doesn't do anything to justify the additional channels. On the whole, the sound is flat and a bit muffled throughout the film, making some of the dialogue a bit hard to hear. It's adequate but that's about it.

Needful Things has a Dolby 2.0 soundtrack, and it gets the job done adequately. The sound is generally clear, though at times some of the dialogue is a bit muffled; there's also more variation than necessary between the quieter dialogue scenes and the louder non-dialogue scenes.

Extras

Carrie is the undeniable star of the "special features" category. This 25th Anniversary Edition has two substantial documentaries: "Acting Carrie," running 43 minutes, and "Visualizing Carrie," at 40 minutes. Between these two featurettes, we get an informative view of the making of the movie from the perspective of both the cast and crew. A six-minute featurette on "Carrie: The Musical" explains how the film led to a musical Broadway show, and in the remaining special features, we get a photo gallery, a trailer, and a text section on "Stephen King and the Evolution of Carrie."

Misery, The Dark Half, and Needful Things each have a trailer for their respective films. Carrie, Misery, and The Dark Half also have insert booklets with some information on the making of the film.

Final thoughts

The star ratings for this set aren't particularly meaningful in this case, as the four different movies offer four different viewing experiences. Misery is by far the best of the films, with Carrie coming in second; Needful Things and The Dark Half are entertaining but not exceptional. In terms of transfer quality, Carrie and Needful Things come out best with anamorphic widescreen transfers that are of generally good quality; Misery is widescreen but not anamorphic; and The Dark Half is unfortunately only presented in pan-and-scan format. On the whole I'll give a "recommended" for this set, but especially given the reasonable retail prices of the individual films, viewers may consider picking up Misery (which would certainly get a "highly recommended") and Carrie separately, renting Needful Things, and skipping The Dark Half due to its transfer.

HERE IS THE DIRECT LINK TO A BUNCH OF STEPHEN KING FILMS INCLUDING IT.

TERMINATOR THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES SEASON FINALE EPISODE 8 AND 9 NOW AVAILABLE

SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES SEASON FINALE EPISODES 8-9 NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE

HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR EPISODE 8

John defends Cameron against a damning accusation by Derek, putting him and Derek at odds, while Sarah finds herself in a business transaction with a mysterious business man. Meanwhile, Cromartie closes in on John and Agent Ellison discovers a nemesis at the agency.

HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR EPISODE 9

John defends Cameron against a damning accusation by Derek, putting him and Derek at odds, while Sarah finds herself in a business transaction with a mysterious business man. Meanwhile, Cromartie closes in on John and Agent Ellison discovers a nemesis at the agency.


HERE IS THE DIRECT DOWNLOAD FOR EPISODE 8

HERE IS THE DIRECT DOWNLOAD FOR EPISODE 9

WITLESS PROTECTION NOW AVAILABLE

WITLESS PROTECTION NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE

HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR THE MOVIE WITLESS PROTECTION FROM IMDB

The story centers on a small-town sheriff who witnesses what he believes is a kidnapping and rushes to rescue a woman. The kidnappers turn out to be FBI agents assigned to protect her and deliver her to a big Enron-type corruption trial in Chicago but are later found to be on the take and are villains who are bent on killing her. Written by anonymous

HERE IS A REVIEW FOR THE MOVIE WITLESS PROTECTION FROM DVDTALK

"Witless Protection" is disgusting, racist, clueless, sexist, charmless, unfunny, infantile, mean-spirited, amateurish, and insulting. In other words, it stars Larry The Cable Guy.

Boobish Mississippi police officer Larry Stalder (Larry The Cable Guy) hopes one day to join the ranks of the F.B.I. and leave his small town behind. When Madeline (Ivana Milicevic) sneaks into town with a group of her witness protection agents (led by Yaphet Kotto), Larry mistakes the bodyguard as villains and steals her away to safety. Made aware of his mistake, Larry is forced to follow through with the original plan and bring the star witness to Chicago for an important trial. Now on the run, Larry and Madeline fight criminal masterminds (Peter Stormare), rogue agents (Eric Roberts), and Larry's lack of personal hygiene to stay alive.

I'm all for silly comedies, but these Larry The Cable Guy movies aren't just harmless giggles anymore. These are seriously diseased, bottom-feeding motion pictures constructed to reduce intelligence and further this bizarre obsession certain communities of Americans have to proudly display their unwashed idiocy, as though it was a golden badge of honor. Call it the "Blue Collaring" of the country. It's not just enjoying redneck jokes anymore; it's a disturbing transformation that cannot be reversed.

"Witless Protection" is the worst Cable Guy movie to date, and that's saying something after "Health Inspector" and "Delta Farce." Larry is Ernest P. Worrel for the illiterate; he's a comic with a just one surface to his act and he beats on it like a drum, making the same jokes and same facial gestures for 90 unholy minutes. Pretty much every scene in "Protection" involves Larry farting, vomiting, eating rancid meat, making people smell his feet, parading around his bulbous belly, and cracking some bizarre non sequitur joke that fails to make even a lick of sense ("purple is the upside of beef, gawl-dangit!"). His co-stars have it a little better: either they're questionable eye candy (sex kitten Jenny McCarthy plays Larry's girlfriend, yet is clad in a Halloween fright wig), or lighting their farts on fire. At least they don't have putrid feet, right? Such progress.

Writer/director Charles Robert Carner presides over this debacle like a demented child, encouraging the numerous fecal jokes, atrocious Casio-thin score by Eric Allaman, unprofessional cinematography (it is too much to ask for focus or the absence of boom microphones in the frame?), and pens a screenplay that includes a handful of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" references and pokes fun at classical music. I can't believe this film actually made it all the way to production. For the record, Carner is 51 years old.

My friends, this movie is far worse than it looks. Here's further evidence of the horrors within: there's a "Benny Hill" undercranked sequence, Joe Mantegna cameos, and Larry asks a traditionally dressed Middle-Eastern character why he's "wearing a diaper on his head."

I'm no culture cop, but these Larry The Cable Guy movies represent a new low for American comedy. It's one thing to be sleeveless and make fun of "liberals," but "Witless Protection" lashes out in a million reckless ways; every scene hits a new low. This motion picture isn't fun, it's punishment.

HERE IS THE DIRECT DOWNLOAD FOR THE MOVIE WITLESS PROTECTION 1 OF 2.

HERE IS THE DIRECT DOWNLOAD FOR THE MOVIE WITLESS PROTECTION 2 OF 2.