WWE RAW RESULTS FOR 11/19/2007

WWE RAW RESULTS FOR MONDAY NOVEMBER 19 2007 JERICHO RETURNS

- From the Bank Atlantic Center in Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

- Raw opens with a marathon man running through the streets…opening video and pyro and we’re ready for Raw!!

- Shawn Michaels makes his way to the ring to a huge ovation, he says last night the better man won and he wants Orton to come out so he can shake his hand. Orton appears on the tron and says no, Orton’s face is battered from the superkick last night. Orton says he doesn’t believe Shawn just wants to shake hands, HBK admits that he was gonna kick him again! Crowd laugh. He says he’s proved he’s the best by beating John Cena, Triple H & HBK. HBK wants a re-match, Orton says he had his chance and now it’s over. Orton notes the marathon runner seen at the beginning of the show is on his way to the arena and it represents the passing of the torch from HBK to Orton.

Mr. Kennedy makes his way to the ring and he and HBK start brawling. Shawn is shoved into the ring post, Kennedy says it’s his time. HBK recovers and takes down Kennedy, HBK then challenges Kennedy to a match. Kennedy says HBK is nothing more then a loser. William Regal brings a referee out and we have a match.

(1) Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy
Back from commercials the match has not yet begun because Shawn & Kennedy are brawling on the outside. They fight over the crowd barrier into the fans and over the announce table. J.R. & King’s mics are out. Kennedy goes for a chair and HBK superkicks it back into Kennedy’s face! Shawn’s music plays, match ends in no-contest.

- Later; Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

(2) Santino Marella vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler
Jerry gets a good pop and “Jerry” chants. Santino puts King’s crown on and grabs a mike, he tells J.R. he is going to beat Lawler like a “government dog!!” Santino taunts Lawler, Jerry punches Santino’s lights out. King pins Santino after a backslide!

- After the match, Orton appears behind Lawler and RKO’s him! Orton shows the runner again, he says it’s only a matter of time before the official passing of the torch.

- Backstage Mr. Kennedy is complaining about what HBK did to him. Kennedy says father time catches up with everybody, but HBK shouldn’t worry about father time, he should worry about Mr. Kennedy

- We take a look back at Khali vs. Hornswoggle from last night. Vince, Coach and Regal are talking backstage about Hornswoggle at the Survivor Series. Carlito comes in and says he respects the tough love Vince has been giving. Vince signs Carlito vs. Hornswoggle for later tonight.

(3) Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga
long match, Hardy and Umaga exchange the advantage. After commercial break we have rest holds, Umaga hits a huge leg and a huge knee drop but only gets a 2. Umaga hits a spinning kick to the back of Hardy’s head but Jeff is able to kick out once again. Jeff flies from he top but Umaga catches him and plants him with a swinging sidewalk slam. Hardy again kicks out! fans get behind hardy. Jeff is in the corner, Umaga sets up his running butt slam, Hardy moves and manages to take down Umaga from the top rope. Hardy tries for the Swanton but Umaga moved and hit Jeff with a Samoan drop, he then goes for the Samoan Spike but Hardy reverses it in to the Twist of Fate! Hardy knocks Umaga to the outside and flies over the roe and splashes him to the floor! Jeff is celebrating in the ring but Snitsky attacks him from behind! Jeff tries to hold his own but is double teamed by Umaga and Snitsky. Triple H storms to the ring and takes out both Umaga and Snitsky! Trips and Hardy are standing tall in the ring staring down the heels, Lilian announces Jeff the winner via DQ, great match!

- Later; Hornswoggle vs. Carlito – the match is now no DQ

- A very short Save_Us video is played with “tonight” at the end

- Backstage Todd Grisham asks Triple H why he saved Jeff Hardy. H says he saved Hardy because he’s the real bad ass of WWE, not Snitsky or Umaga. H questions Todd’s sexuality.

(4) Hardcore Holly vs. Cody Rhodes
Holly goes for the Alabama Slam, but Cody reverses into a DDT for the win!

- Orton runs to the ring and RKO’s Cody & Holly. We see the runner arriving in Fort Lauderdale.

- Finlay is speaking with Vince backstage. They speak about being Irish, Finlay notes Vince wasn’t actually born in Ireland. Vince invites Finlay out for a drink after the show, Finlay accepts and says he will order Vince a glass of warm milk because that’s what Vince needs at his age before he goes to bed! Vince looks pissed, but Finlay says he was only joking. Finlay leaves laughing and Vince is doing a fake laugh, he looks perplexed after Finlay has gone.

- A promo airs featuring highlights of Ric Flair’s career…next week on Raw, Ric Flair returns!!

(5) Jillian Hall & Melina vs. Maria & Mickie James
before the match Jillian goes on about how she thinks Lilian Garcia can’t sing, she then screeches down the mike, fan boo heavily. Mickie hits her kiss-spinning kick combo on Jillian for the win.

(6) Carlito vs. Hornswoggle
Carlito chases Hornswoggle around the ring, Horny disappears under the ring, Carlito tries to find him, horny outsmarts Carlito and covers him with a bucket of water! Carlito knocks Horny down and takes a few bites of his apple, Finlay runs to the ring, Carlito spits the apple in Finlay’s face, Finlay takes down Carlito and slams Horny on top of him for the victory! After the match Horny spits apple in Carlito’s face.

- The runner arrives at the arena

- Randy Orton makes his way to the ring for his “passing of the torch” ceremony. Orton says “and then there was none” referring to everyone he’s beaten. The runner is seen entering the arena. The runner is suddenly knocked down with a clothesline, but we can only see the guys back. On the tron the Save_Us video plays…THE ANSWER IS…SAVE_US.Y2J!!!! yes it’s true, it’s Chris Jericho!! A countdown appears on the tron, and Jericho’s music hits. The fans are going totally wild, Jericho soaks up the cheers for a while before cutting into one of his flawless promos, he says he is here to save the WWE from Randy Orton and the 1st chance he has he will take that WWE Championship from him! He says that when he does, the WWE, America, Planet Earth and the Universe will Neverrrrrr…Everrrrrrr…be the same again! Orton looks on shocked at what has happened! Y2J’s music hits and he celebrates with the crowd as Raw goes off the air!

LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD NOW AVAILABLE

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HERE IS INFORMATION ON THE FILM FROM IMDB.COM

When a criminal plot is in place to take down the entire computer and technological structure that supports the economy of the United States (and the world), it's up to a decidedly "old school" hero, police detective John McClane, to take down the conspiracy, aided by a young hacker.

HERE IS A REVIEW OF THE MOVIE DIE HARD 4 FROM DVDTALK

Oh, John McClane. How we have missed you! America has changed since 1995, when we last saw you. We have been attacked by terrorists. We have turned Internet geekery into a viable career option. And most of all, we have become overly concerned about cutting down on the swear words so that we can earn a PG-13 rating and thus open ourselves up to the more lucrative teen moviegoer market. We need you in times like these, John McClane! McClane is back in "Live Free or Die Hard," a walloping action flick with a silly title, lots of smarmy tough-guy jokes, and a series of outrageously improbable stunt sequences -- exactly what you want in a "Die Hard" movie, in other words. (People who complain about this entry's ridiculous title should remember that the last one was called "Die Hard: With a Vengeance.")

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THE HITMAN NOW AVAILABLE

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HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR THE MOVIE HITMAN FROM IMDB

A gun-for-hire known only as Agent 47 (Olyphant) is ensnared in a political conspiracy, which finds him pursued by both Interpol and the Russian military as he treks across Eastern Europe. hired by a group known as "The Agency" to kill targets for cash.

HERE IS A REVIEW FOR THE MOVIE HITMAN FROM DVDTALK

Movies adapted from video games have always been a strange phenomenon. Taking something inherently cinematic and turning it into something...er, cinematic has resulted in a line of box office corpses. "Hitman" is the latest casualty; an overcooked time killer that finds bad acting, bad direction, bad cinematography, and bad screenwriting in a furious race to dominate the running time. I'd call it a four-way tie.

Living a life of murder clad in posh business wear, Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant) is a contract killer with an enigmatic past, genetically bred to assassinate anyone as long as the price is right. Positioned as the patsy in a scheme to execute a Russian leader, 47 dashes around Europe to clear his name, taking a prostitute (model Olga Kurylenko) with him for answers, only to find himself consumed with protecting her. As the two plunge deeper into the conspiracy, an Interpol agent (Dougray Scott) is hot on their tail, rabid to stop 47 and expose his identity.

The appeal of the "Hitman" video games was the ability to play up John Woo theatrics and enjoy a healthy portion of Luc Besson anti-hero glorification. So, in turning "Hitman" into a movie, the production has created a film frighteningly derivative of the fruit of past action pioneers. It hopes the lure of its console origin will sucker the faithful into coughing up hard-earned cash to watch what normally passes for direct-to-video content, only without Steven Seagal or Wesley Snipes in the lead role.

As a movie, "Hitman" is a jumble of poorly executed ideas all fighting for screentime. Director Xavier Gens doesn't have the faintest clue how to rein everything in and mold a story out of this mess, so he allows the picture to run wild with generic action and political mumbo-jumbo. It's an overblown highlight reel of directorial exhaustion, topping itself with bullet cinema cliché after cliché.

The finest example of buffoonery being a shootout in one of those dingy Euro hideouts (you know, the ones with hookers and "Clockwork Orange" references laying about) where 47 detonates a bomb on a table of money, soon engaging in a slo-mo gunfight while cash rains from the sky Jay-Z style and bodies are soon pocked with juicy bullet wounds. In short: Gens has nothing innovative to offer the big screen; he's just another style-conscious boob with a budget.

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HERE ARE THE RESULTS FOR WWE SURVIVOR SERIES 2007

HERE ARE THE RESULTS FROM WRESTLEZONE.COM FOR THE SURVIVOR SERIES 2007 PPV

The WWE promo hits.

- A video package airs looking back at the history of the Survivor Series. Some of the big matches tonight were also highlighted including Batista vs. The Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell for the World Heavyweight Title.

- A graphic opening then welcomes us to Survivor Series as we go live to the American Airlines Arena. A display of pyro goes off as Joey Styles opens the show.

- CM Punk defeated The Miz & John Morrison in a Triple Threat Match to retain the ECW Championship. Although it was a rather quick match, it was a very solid way to open up the PPV. Punk took out Miz early on with a quick kick to the head followed by sending both Miz and Morrison to the floor. Miz and Morrison started double-teaming Punk in the ring until Miz shoved Morrison away. Morrison sent Miz to the floor until both started exchanging offense in the ring. Morrison hit a quick corkscrew from the corner on Miz, but Punk broke up the pinfall attempt. Impressive spot saw Punk hit a huricanranna on Morrison from the top rope which sent Morrison into Miz who hit Morrison with a quick powerbomb. Punk with a bulldog and and underhook backbreaker on Miz. The finish saw Miz take out Morrison sending him to the floor and Punk hit the Go To Sleep on Miz for the win.

- Backstage, MVP informs the audience that Matt Hardy will be unable to wrestle tonight. They showed footage from Smackdown on Friday night when MVP attacked Hardy's knee.

Mickie James, Maria, Torrie Wilson, Michelle McCool & Kelly Kelly defeated WWE Women's Champion Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Melina, Victoria & Layla in a 10 Divas Tag Team Match. Funny moment saw Melina attempt her usual entrance doing the splits, but she missed the ring apron. She laughed it off and did it a second time. Another quick match here that saw Mickie James kiss Melina and then kick her in the head for the win.

- A promo for WrestleMania 24 airs.

- Backstage, a shot of a concerned Hornswoggle is shown as Jonathan Coachman and William Regal are smiling about his match with The Great Khali later tonight.

- Footage was shown from earlier in the day with Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels. Orton said he will be disappointing all the WWE fans tonight when he beats HBK and that his only chance to beat him would have been with the superkick - which he can't use tonight. Michaels told Orton that he tried to take his career away from him and now he will take away his WWE Title tonight.

- Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch defeated Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes to retain the World Tag Team Titles. Early on in the match, Holly sent Cade to the floor and Rhodes sent Murdoch to the floor as well. Cade and Murdoch began to isolate Holly from getting a tag to Rhodes. Rhodes got the high tag later on and took out Murdoch with a big high back body drop. Rhodes continued the offense on Murdoch with a bulldog and a big dropkick from the top rope. The finish saw Holly hit the ring and send himself over the top rope to the outside along with Cade. In the ring, Murdoch hit Rhodes with a modified Canadian Destroyer and got the pinfall. After the match, Holly got in Cody's face and left to the back without him.

- At ringside, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole and JBL talk about how Matt Hardy is out of the 10-Man Elimination Match. JBL added that Mysterio is working injured as well.

- Backstage, Todd Grisham was with Triple H's team. Jeff Hardy said MVP taking out his brother Matt only lit a fire underneath them tonight. They did a brief confrontation between Kane and Triple H where Kane was still upset about the Kate Vick deal. Triple H apologized. Jeff Hardy then brought up how Triple H once put him in the hospital. Triple H again apologized. He said tonight they will take out any aggression they have on their opponents.

- Triple H, WWE Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio & Kane defeated Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, WWE U.S. Champion MVP, Finlay & Big Daddy V in a Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match. Eliminations were as follows: Kane was eliminated first by Big Daddy V after a samoan drop and elbow drop. Rey Mysterio was eliminated second by Umaga after a samoan spike. MVP was eliminated third by Jeff Hardy after a Twist of Fate. Mr. Kennedy was eliminated fourth by Triple H after Big Daddy V went for an elbow drop on Triple H but missed and hit Kennedy instead. Big Daddy V was eliminated fifth by Triple H after he was hit with a double DDT by Triple H and Hardy. We are down to Triple H & Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga & Finlay. Finlay was eliminated sixth by Triple H following a Pedigree. Umaga was eliminated last after a Pedigree by Triple H and a Swanton Bomb by Jeff Hardy, with Jeff getting the pinfall on Umaga. I bet that surprised some people. Very solid match.

- Michael Cole and JBL looked at some footage of the new Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 video game with a Hell in a Cell Match between Batista and The Undertaker.

- Backstage, we see a shot of Hornswoggle still concerned about his match with The Great Khali. Vince McMahon shows up and Hornswoggle hugs him. Vince told Hornswoggle that he made the match tonight because Hornswoggle's last name is McMahon and that he has been an underdog before against Time-Warner and the United States government - beating both. He tells Hornswoggle that all McMahon's have huge grapefruits and are impervious to pain. Hornswoggle is pumped up to fight.

- The Great Khali defeated Hornswoggle via DQ. Wasn't much of a match at all. Shane McMahon came out first and introduced his father and then his half-brother Hornswoggle. A loud "WE WANT SHAQ" chant started up. Shaq is in the house tonight by the way. During the match, Hornswoggle kicked Khali's translator to the floor and spit green mist in his face. Hornswoggle then hid under the ring. The finish saw Finlay run down and hit Khali with the shillelagh followed by a low blow. Both Vince and Shane McMahon leave the ringside area to the back.

- A video package airs highlighting the feud between Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels going into tonight's match for the WWE Title.

- Randy Orton defeated Shawn Michaels to retain the WWE Championship. The stipulation here was that Orton couldn't intentionally DQ himself, while Michaels couldn't use the Sweet Chin Music. Lots of ground wrestling early on in the match. HBK would fake out Orton numerous times during the match teasing he was going for a superkick. First big spot saw HBK hit a big springboard moonsault from the ropes to Orton on the floor. Believe it or not, HBK applied a Sharpshooter on Orton in the ring. Orton responded with a spike DDT from the ropes after breaking the submission. Orton hit a quick standing dropkick on HBK as well when HBK was getting in some quick offense. HBK also applied the Crossface on Orton later on, which might have been questionable to do. Orton attempted to kick HBK in the head later in the match, but HBK countered by applying an Ankle Lock. The finish saw HBK counter an RKO attempt and had his opening to hit the Sweet Chin Music, but stopped shorted and this allowed Orton to hit the RKO to get the clean pinfall on HBK for the win to retain his title. After the match, Orton dragged a knocked out HBK to the corner, slapped him and demanded he acknowledge him as the future. When Orton turned his back on HBK for a few seconds, HBK stood up and then hit Orton with the Sweet Chin Music.

- A promo for Armageddon on December 16 airs.

- Another "Save_us" video aired, noting we are just 23 hours and 32 minutes away until tomorrow night.

- Backstage, a shot of Batista was shown. Back in the arena, the Hell in a Cell is lowered over the ring.

- A video package airs highlighting the feud between Batista and The Undertaker going into tonight's Hell in a Cell match for the World Heavyweight Title.

Hell in the Cell match for the World Heavyweight title match: Batista vs. The Undertaker. Batista entered the cell first, but the fans chanted "Taker, Taker." Batista speared The Undertaker. On the outside, Taker rammed Batista's head into the ring steps. Taker smashes Batista's head into the steel cage. Vintage Undertaker leg drop across the throat. Taker used the chair on Batista's throat. Batista is bleeding. Taker went old school on the top rope, but Batista answered it with a spine buster. Taker rammed Batista head first into the cage. Batista is bleeding more heavily. Batista recovers, and super plexes Taker. Taker counters with the triangle choke. Batista made it to the rope to force a break. Batista rammed the ring steps into The Undertaker's head. Taker has been busted open. Last ride by Taker, but only a two count. Chokeslam, but only a two count. Spin buster by Batista, two count. Batitsa finds a table from under the ring. Its set up, and Batista Batista bombs Taker through the table, but only a two count. Taker back drops Batista on the ring steps, but Batista grabs the bottom rope to break the count. Tombstone by Taker, but Batista kicked out at 2 1/2. Taker tombstones Batista on the steel steps. Edge pulled out the referee at 2 1/2. Edge hits the Undertaker with a camera. Edge places Takers head on the ring steps, and slams the chair over his head. Edge places Batista on Taker, and Batista wins at 21:24. Edge slams Taker again with a chair and has a blank stare on his face as the show goes off... Edge screws 'Taker, show over.

SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE

SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE

HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR THE MOVIE SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS FROM IMDB

Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire are three intelligent young children who receive terrible news that their parents have died in a fire and have left them an enormous fortune not to be used until the eldest child is of age. When they are sent to live with Count Olaf, a greedy distant relative, they soon learn he is trying to steal their fortune for himself. Written by jackwhiteyouremyhero

This is the story of the Bauedelaires, three young orphans, Violet, Klaus and Sunny, looking for a new home, who are taken in by a series of odd relatives and other people, including Lemony Snicket, who narrates the film, and starting with the cunning and dastardly Count Olaf, who hopes to snatch their inheritance from them. Violet is the oldest of the Baudelaires at 14, and is their brave and fast-thinking leader. The only boy is middle child Klaus, 12, who is intensely intelligent and obsessed with words. The youngest is infant Sunny, who speaks in a language only her siblings can understand, and she has a tendency to, bite... Written by austin4577@aol.com

After the tragic death of their parents, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire travel from guardian to guardian by a good friend of their parents, Mr. Poe. The orphans stay with herpetologist Montgomery Montgomery and grammar-wise Josephine Anwhistle, but the worst one was Count Olaf, an evil and greedy man, who, with the help of his assistants, the bald man, the hook-handed man, the person of indeterminable gender, and the two white-faced women, tries to steal the Baudelaire fortune. To do this, he disguises himself in the forms of assistant, Stephano, and ship captain, Julio Sham. Written by joshuaadamf

HERE IS A REVIEW FOR THE MOVIE SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS FROM DVDTALK

When viewed through the eyes of a child, life really is one big adventure. Holidays are transformed into the most magical of times, when fantasy becomes fact and the spirit of the season melds with reality to reshape the very fabric of daily existence. From the sights and the sounds to the smell and the sensations, celebrations pack a potent wallop that even the most mature adolescent brain can't properly process. But existence doesn't need a day on the calendar to seem like a wide-eyed adventure filled with fun and frolic. A vacation with the family can become like a secret safari, where mysterious and memorable people and places lie just around the next bend in the superhighway. A visit to a new city takes on the tenets of an exploration, with the constant bombardment of new visceral vibrations creating a completely different soundtrack to your life. From the first day of school to the moment the fall leaves arrive, there is so much joy in juvenilia that it's hard to imagine the heart not bursting with happiness.

So imagine what pain and sorrow must feel like to such a vulnerable, innocent spirit. Conjure up in your mind the converse of all the birthday bliss, Christmas cheer and interpersonal presence, and see if you can't sense how HORRIBLE the world would appear to a wounded, or abandoned child. Life may be a series of grays, but extremes do match off in exact blacks and whites. So if pleasure is like the best bowl of ice cream you've ever had, sadness must be the sickening slime oozing off the side of some rotting fish. This is how kids see the universe of misery, a place so gloomy and dark that the light from love gets instantly dispersed and destroyed. It is a territory of realities and regrets. It is a most regrettable of realms. Sad to say, it is also the world of the Baudelaires, three children who know a great deal about the drastic boundaries of delight and depression. Theirs is a destiny darkened by the troubled waters they are slowly sinking into. Theirs is the sad saga of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

CLICK HERE IF YOU WANT TO READ THE REST OF THE REVIEW FOR THIS MOVIE.

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FREAKSHOW NOW AVAILABLE

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HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR THE MOVIE FREAKSHOW FROM IMDB


In a modern retelling of Tod Browning's "Freaks" (1932), "Freakshow" tells the story of a group of criminals who chose to hide out by working security at a traveling circus. At first, they plot with an insider to steal the ticket sales, but the wily Lucy has bigger plans. She convinces the gang to let her seduce and marry the aging circus owner, Lon, in order to secure the entire circus fortune after he "suffers an accident". "People die all the time," Lucy says. The freaks are on to their scheme, however, and when the youngest of them is caught by the ruthless gang, they show no mercy to ensure her silence. When the circus folk find the child's remains, they swear vengeance, and no one is safe from their fury--least of all, the wily Lucy. Written by EllenRipley112


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SAW IV NOW AVAILABLE

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HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR THE MOVIE SAW IV FROM IMDB


Jigsaw and his apprentice Amanda are dead. Now, upon the news of Detective Kerry's murder, two seasoned FBI profilers, Agent Strahm and Agent Perez, arrive in the terrified community to assist the veteran Detective Hoffman in sifting through Jigsaw's latest grizzly remains and piecing together the puzzle. However, when SWAT Commander Rigg is abducted and thrust into a game, the last officer untouched by Jigsaw has but ninety minutes to overcome a series of demented traps and save an old friend or face the deadly consequences. Written by Lionsgate


HERE IS A REVIEW FOR THE MOVIE SAW IV FROM DVDTALK

• When we last left the "Saw" franchise, Jigsaw was revealed to be a victim of a broken heart (awwwwww), and the producers bent over backwards to cram new, outlandish twists into this head-slappingly dreadful franchise, hopeful to extend the profit trail long enough before horror fans start to realize they're being taken advantage of. After four of these harebrained features, I'm starting to think the audience enjoys the violation.

• With Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) and Amanda (Shawnee Smith) dead, two FBI profilers (Scott Patterson and Athena Karkanis) are called in to assist Detective Hoffman (Costas Mandylor) with his investigation of the homicides and elaborate torture devices Jigsaw left behind. When SWAT Commander Rigg (Lyriq Bent) is kidnapped and set off on game giving him 90 minutes to survive a series of traps, the cops are in close pursuit, leading them to the doorstep of Jigsaw's former ladylove Jill (Betsy Russell), where a few answers about Jigsaw's macabre modus operandi are provided, along with chilling plans for the future.

• There's a built-in audience for the "Saw" films at this point in the game. I get that. What I find more confusing about this phenomenon is the adoration of such amateurish filmmaking and feverishly corner-cutting, logic-be-damned screenwriting. "Saw" has become a Halloween staple, now in its fourth year of bloodshed production. The previous entries in the franchise have been laughably acted, frightfully directed exercises in voyeurism, somehow equating the salivating display of blunt ultraviolence and fountains of gore with a social message on appreciating the brevity of life. Would it be shocking if I wrote that "Saw IV" is simply another serving of the same stale soup?

• There's really no reason to shake up the series at this point, since prior "Saw" sequels have been rewarded with bewilderingly ardent fans and impressive (if not blockbuster) box office returns. "Saw IV" is only trying to reheat the Jigsaw myth into pliable form to stretch the material for two more planned sequels after this, and for that goal alone, the latest round of sadistic traps and melodramatic tribulations is a great success. As for elements like "acting" and "suspense," the latest "Saw" feature still leaves a lot to be desired.

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SUPERBAD NOW AVAILABLE

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HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR THE MOVIE SUPERBAD FROM IMDB

Two co-dependent high school seniors (Hill and Cera) are forced to deal with separation anxiety after their plan to stage a booze-soaked party goes awry.

HERE IS A REVIEW FOR THE MOVIE SUPERBAD FROM DVDTALK

Just when you thought the raunchy teen comedy was dead and buried, here comes "Superbad" with its frontal assault of sex, drinking, nerds, chases, mischief, drugs, cursing, high school, bad fashions, gunfire, liquor store robbery, lube, separation anxiety, romance, and laser-precise portrayal of adolescent friendship. It makes one wonder what the world saw in that piece of muddled garbage titled "American Pie" not so long ago.

Seth (Jonah Hill) and Evan (Michael Cera) are two best friends living out their final weeks of high school before they face the future at different colleges. When the opportunity to attend a rowdy party is presented by the objects of their desire, they offer to buy the booze, forcing the guys to include dork Fogell (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) simply because he's the proud owner of a new fake ID. What transpires next is a citywide expedition involving misbehaving cops (scene-stealers Seth Rogan and Bill Hader), detergent-bottled booze, miscommunication, and desperation as the boys power their way through the night to realize their dream of inebriated sex with their dream ladies.

Make no mistake, "Superbad" is a caustic, frighteningly obscene teen comedy that spits on and completely ignores the lines of taste. It's a rowdy film, another product from the three-ring circus of producer Judd Apatow, acting as a curious counterweight to the similarly crewed-up "Knocked Up" from earlier this summer. All expectation of sensitivity and kindness should be placed aside when walking into this unruly picture.

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GINGERSNAPS NOW AVAILABLE

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HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR THE MOVIE GINGERSNAPS FROM IMDB

Is becoming a woman analogous, in some deep psychological way, to becoming a werewolf? Ginger is 16, edgy, tough, and, with her younger sister, into staging and photographing scenes of death. They've made a pact about dying together. In early October, on the night she has her first period, which is also the night of a full moon, a werewolf bites Ginger. Within a few days, some serious changes happen to her body and her temperament. Her sister Brigitte, 15, tries to find a cure with the help of Sam, a local doper. As Brigitte races against the clock, Halloween and another full moon approach, Ginger gets scarier, and it isn't just local dogs that begin to die. Written by {jhailey@hotmail.com}

HERE IS A REVIEW OF THE MOVIE GINGERSNAPS FROM DVDTALK

Werewolves are a bit long in the tooth in horror circles. Michael Landon was a teenage lycanthrope. So was Michael J. Fox. There was a little picture called American Werewolf in London that a few zillion folks may have seen. Truth is, there hasn't been that much to howl about since the Scream mushroom cloud irradiated all creativity from the genre. Bleak times indeed for gorehounds. School shootings didn't help. Scissor-happy studios didn't either. But truly creative people don't pay much mind to such things. They hire creature FX gurus, mix big ol' vats of stage blood, and bravely go where society and the all-mighty dollar warns them against. Folks like John Fawcett and Karen Walton just do it anyway. They made a picture that's as morosely witty as it is grotesque. They sharpened the teeth of the time-worn werewolf flick and created what will easily become a genre classic. They made Ginger Snaps (2000, 108 minutes). Inexplicably, it only garnered a spotty release on U.S. screens and a skeletal domestic DVD, so we must gleefully thank Canada for this richly-deserved special edition.

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BEE MOVIE NOW AVAILABLE

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HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR THE MOVIE BEE MOVIE FROM IMDB

Barry B. Benson, a bee who has just graduated from college, is disillusioned at his lone career choice: making honey. On a special trip outside the hive, Barry's life is saved by Vanessa, a florist in New York City. As their relationship blossoms, he discovers humans actually eat honey, and subsequently decides to sue us.


HERE IS A REVIEW OF THE MOVIE BEE MOVIE FROM DVDTALK

Jerry Seinfeld. Funny guy, right? After all, he's one of the masterminds behind "Seinfeld," perhaps one of the most outstanding sitcoms ever created. This is why "Bee Movie" will go down as one of the more bewildering misfires of the year.

A graduate of his hive, Barry Benson (voiced by Jerry Seinfeld) is heading off to his job procuring honey for his community of bees (including Matthew Broderick). When the reality of the dull work day hits him, Barry takes off to New York, finding himself communicating with Vanessa (Renee Zellweger), a sympathetic human to the bee world. When Barry gets wind of rampant honey abuse, he takes humans to court, battling for control of the golden delight. Now rich with power, Barry is shocked to learn a bee's place in the world is far greater than he ever imagined.

As if there wasn't enough money in Seinfeld's coffers, here he comes to milk the lucrative family film market. Blessed with children himself, Seinfeld wanted to make a movie that would hold some appeal to youngsters, so bid adieu to the cynical, bracing material that made his television show so pleasurable and say hello to bright magic marker colors, groan-inducing puns, and paint-by-numbers screenwriting. What better way to reach young audiences than to utilize the same exact CG-animated template Hollywood has been abusing for over a decade now?

To be fair, "Bee Movie" isn't a wide-awake nightmare. In fact, it's pretty darn cute when it can summon up a little invention, envisioning a scale-appropriate world for the bees and their foibles. There's also something to be said about Seinfeld's enthusiasm for the material he co-wrote. He takes the word "animated" very seriously.

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DAN IN REAL LIFE NOW AVAILABLE

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HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR THE MOVIE DAN IN REAL LIFEFROM IMDB

Dan Burns (Carell) is a single father who dedicates his life to his children, but one day he meets Marie (Binoche) at a bookstore. They get to know each other, but then Dan finds out that Marie is actually dating his brother, Mitch Burns (Cook). Written by Marisa_Gabriella

HERE IS A REVIEW OF THE MOVIE DAN IN REAL LIFE FROM DVDTALK

"Dan in Real Life" is a sitcom fighting to discover its own identity. A film with a peculiar improvisational energy running through its veins, "Dan" is a delightful motion picture, especially when it combats the fatigue of formula, trying to smuggle in astute characterizations between moments of traditional Hollywood romantic comedy hoo-ha.

Dan Burns (Steve Carell) is a popular newspaper columnist, a lonely widower, and a father to three girls in all stages of growing pains. Packing up the clan to head to his parents' house for a yearly family reunion (including John Mahoney and Dianne Wiest), Dan is thrust into the whirlwind of his brothers and sisters, who all want the best for his heart. Sojourning to a local book store, Dan encounters Marie (Juliette Binoche), and the two strike up immediate romantic chemistry. Returning home with renewed hope for himself in the relationship department, Dan's fragile life is crushed when Marie arrives at the house as well, only as the new girlfriend to his brother Mitch (Dane Cook).

Most of the emotional heavy lifting found in "Dan" is accomplished by Carell and his ease with wounded moments or acts of humiliation. A relative newcomer to leading roles, Carell pulls off the complicated internal processes of Dan without relying on his famous comedic shtick. Sure, there are scenes that require Carell to dance his way out of a crisis, and I'd be lying if I didn't mention how glad I was to see the actor adding his own bit of funny business to dull the jagged pieces of formula that are scattered precariously around the picture; however, Dan's troubles are the organic stuff romantic comedies are made of and Carell makes his own choices here. His skill at expressing Dan's desires, resentment, and disgust are truly gifted bits of acting.

It also helps Carell's efforts to have such impossibly lovely chemistry with Binoche, who captivatingly giggles and winces her way around a rare American production. Deserving an Oscar for her ability to sell a romantic relationship with Dane Cook, Binoche smolders and whimpers her way around "Dan," and her scenes with Carell play both comedically and authentically as constipated acts of affection.

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WAR NOW AVAILABLE

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HERE IS THE SUMMARY FOR THE MOVIE WAR FROM IMDB

After his partner Tom Wynne (Terry Chen) and family are killed apparently by the infamous and elusive assassin Rogue (Jet Li), FBI agent Jack Crawford (Jason Statham) becomes obsessed with revenge as his world unravels into a vortex of guilt and betrayal. Rogue eventually resurfaces to settle a score of his own, setting off a bloody crime war between Asian mob rivals Chang (John Lone) of the Triad's and Yakuza boss Shiro (Ryo Ishibashi). When Jack and Rogue finally come face to face, the ultimate truth of their pasts will be revealed. Written by CartmanKun@aol.com

HERE IS A REVIEW FOR THE MOVIE WAR FROM DVDTALK


The idea of "War" is far more pleasant than actually sitting through "War." Pitting Jason Statham vs. Jet Li in an action smorgasbord is a delicious concept, with both men in the prime of their knuckle-sandwich career. It's a downright shame that the resulting film is an unforgivable, horrifically knotted bore that wastes so much promise in the hunt for mediocrity.

Rogue (Jet Li) is an icy, unstoppable assassin pulled into a scheme that has him playing two sides of a Yakuza crime family war. Jack Crawford (Jason Statham) is a FBI agent on the hunt for Rogue, looking to catch the man responsible for killing his partner years earlier and ruining his life. With Jack and his squad getting closer to Rogue, the hitman steps up his assault, hoping to manipulate the situation in a way that leaves him the only man left standing.

The thing to realize about "War" is that this is far from a simple-minded exercise in cinematic hurt. The script by first-time writers Lee Anthony Smith and Gregory J. Bradley is an elaborate construct, trying to wedge beloved action formula inside a complex mystery surrounding Rogue and his puppet mastery of the criminal underworld. I applaud the effort of the writers to at least try and up the stakes in a brain-dead genre, but the final cut of the picture looks as though someone pulled it apart in post-production and forgot how the pieces fit. It's not a total mess, but "War" tends to get dizzy trying to keep the plot afloat.

Music video veteran Philip G. Atwell doesn't so much direct "War" as much as he fights to hold it together, hiding behind a thick wall of hack visual tweaks to keep the attention away from logic and quality. Atwell is pretty much useless throughout the feature, numbly arranging the scenes from a newbie helmer playbook (including a glass-shattering finale) and generally lacking the nerve to stamp a real personality on the whole endeavor. Editor Scott Richter makes matters worse by chopping the film to pieces, constructing fight sequences that make little sense and rob "War" of the only thing it had in its corner: crisp brutality.

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EPIC MOVIE THE UNRATED VERSION NOW AVAILABLE

EPIC MOVIE UNRATED VERSION NOW ONLINE
FROM THE MAKERS OF SCARY MOVIE AND SCARY MOVIE 2 COMES A FILM THAT MOCKS ALL THE EPICS LIKE LORD OF THE RINGS AND SUPERMAN AND OTHER MOVIES. THIS MOVIE WAS GOOD I LIKED SCARY MOVIE SERIES BETTER THOUGH BUT YOU GUYS SHOULD WATCH THIS MOVIE. ITS A GOOD MOVIE.

HERE IS THE SUMMARY FROM IMDB FOR THE MOVIE EPIC MOVIE

All of your favorite 'Epic Movies' receive the satire treatment in this outrageous comedy from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, '2 of the 6' writers of Scary Movie. Kal Penn, Adam Campbell, Jayma Mays and Faun Chambers star as four troubled orphans from four separate movie scenario's who are bind together in a wacky chocolate factory after receiving golden tickets to go on an 'epic adventure.' After they escape from the clutches of a very scary Willy Wonka (Crispin Glover) they discover the magical world of 'Gnarnia' through an enchanted wardrobe. There they must seek the help of a randy lion, a hoard of mutants from the x academy, students of witchcraft and wizardry, funky swash-buckling pirates and a mischievous beaver to defeat the evil white bitch! A movie of Epic Proportions indeed! Written by MovieMagic

The twisted minds of two of the six writers of "Scary Movie" tackle the biggest mega-blockbusters of all time in "Epic Movie." The story centers on four not-so-young orphans: one raised by a curator at the Louvre (where an albino assassin lurks), another a refugee from Mexican "libre" wrestling, the third a recent victim of snakes on her plane, and the fourth a "normal" resident of a mutant "X"-community. The hapless quartet visits a chocolate factory, where they stumble into an enchanted wardrobe that transports them to the land of Gnarnia (with a "G"). There they meet a flamboyant pirate captain and earnest students of wizardry - and join forces with, among others, a wise-but-horny lion to defeat the evil White Bitch of Gnarnia. Written by Anonymous

HERE IS A REVIEW OF THE MOVIE EPIC MOVIE FROM DVDTALK.

In 10 Words or Less
What? Was the name "Crappy Movie" taken?

Reviewer's Bias*
Loves: Parodies, Fred Willard
Likes: Jayma Mays, Jennifer Coolidge
Dislikes: The state of parody today
Hates: This movie and everything it stands for

The Movie
After suffering through this mercifully short moviette, I was tempted to take my review of Date Movie, change the appropriate names and just reprint it. After all, it certainly feels like that's what the filmmakers did. You can't tell me a lot of thought went into a movie where simply recreating a scene from a bad movie like Nacho Libre is supposed to pass for comedy.

There's a whole lot of recognition-as-humor at work here, and a severe paucity of actual jokes, as four supposed orphans are pulled from their respective movie lives in Nacho Libre, The Davinci Code, Snakes on a Plane and X-Men, to visit a strange pale man with a chocolate factory (who for some odd reason is played by respected nutbar Crispin Glover.) That only one of these films could be even remotely considered epic doesn't seem to matter, as the only qualifications for inclusion in this parody is a mention on MTV in the past year. Thus, we get Paris Hilton and Borat "jokes" for NO DAMN REASON.

Once we gather our cast together, we plunge into the next set of referential material, centered mainly on the Chronicles of Narnia, but inexplicable including Pirates of the Caribbean, "Saturday Night Live," the Pussycat Dolls and... Click. Hey, I like Click. I credit it with inspiring me to change my life. But whoever thought this mildly successful Adam Sandler film needed to be the subject of a weak "parody" in a film that has nothing at all related to the original, should really be forced to watch the Zucker brothers' early flicks non-stop for a few years.

Maybe if they did, we'd stop getting these big-screen Mad Magazine articles and get truly fun and entertaining parodies like Airplane, High Anxiety or Not Another Teen Movie. The secret (apparently a well-kept one) is to stick to the concept and make something new, but similar, instead of simply photocopying the inspiration and drawing a mustache on it. Bodily functions don't mean laughs either. And even when the film somehow stumbles onto something that works, like joking about the Harry Potter cast getting too old to play their characters, the joke doesn't go anywhere, until the dead horse is thoroughly beaten.

Despite the film being overwhelmingly dated and unfunny, there actually are some things to like about it. The first one is wide-eyed Jayma Mays, best known as Hiro's girlfriend on "Heroes." Absolutely adorable and able to portray her character's naive silliness wonderfully, she single-handedly manages to keep you from throwing your remote through the TV. The second positive is Darrell Hammond's utterly over-the-top imitation of Johnny Depp's Pirates of the Carribbean character. The film could have used him to better effect, wasting his screen time on an unneeded music video parody, but he's undeniably goofy and fun.

There's no way you could argue that this is a good movie, but it can be a conversation piece. You can ask your friends why Jennifer Coolidge, Fred Willard and Tony Cox keep doing these movies? Why would a character simply breaking into a hip-hop dance ever be considered comedy? Isn't the idea of a "Cribs" parody a bit old at this point? Crispin Glover?

The DVD
Can't say anything about the packaging, as we received an early screener, but the disc features an animated anamorphic-widescreen main menu, with options to watch the film, adjust languages, select scenes and check out special features. Annoyingly, the menu is hosted by one of the film's minor characters, which will make you want to get clicking quickly. Language options include English Dolby Digital 5.1 and Spanish and French Dolby Digital 2.0 tracks, while subtitles are available in English and Spanish, along with closed captioning.

The Quality
The anamorphic widescreen transfer is cut down a bit by Fox's watermarking, so there are noticeable digital artifacts during any action scenes, but outside of that, the film looks pretty solid, with a clean image, vivid color and no dirt or damage.

The Dolby Digital 5.1 soundtrack is as good as you're going to get for a comedy like this, with clear dialogue, very strong music and clean sound effects. There's some dynamic sound in the sides and rear in places, and the music gets pumped throughout the room to enhance the sound.

The Extras
Normally, when I see three screens of extras, I get pretty excited. When I saw that this film had three screens of extras, I wanted to cry. It meant I would be spending more time with a movie I really can't stand. And worse yet, thanks to a commentary by writer/directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, I had to suffer though it all again, and incredibly, this time it was worse. I'm sure these two financially successful filmmakers think they are clever, but this Andy Kaufman-like track, in which they talk about a film that you aren't watching, is a dreadful bore. It would have been a nice joke for a few minutes, but to keep it up for the whole film was a serious mistake. As a result it is only slightly more interesting than "Breaking Wind: An Epic Journey into the Sounds of an Epic Movie," which adds bodily sounds to the film. It was cute the first time it was done, on Wet Hot American Summer, but it's not so cute now.

If three viewings wasn't enough, how about a fourth? "How Gratuitous" adds icons throughout the film, when there are "hotties" to exploit, which can be clicked to see more sexy, sexy footage. The whole idea is executed quite awfully, as it's actually the opposite of gratuitous. One scene, which includes a naked girl, is supplemented by shots of the girl in a bikini. What a treat! Worse yet, there are several scenes with don't have extra footage, where you'd actually want it, like Carmen Electra's dance scene.

Seven featurettes are included, none of which make much sense, though "Epic Porn," which asks the cast what they would name their porno film, is edited to humorous effect. Honestly, I smiled more during these featurettes than during the film itself. "Everyone Loves Beaver: Epic Hook-Ups" spends about four minutes looking at the relationships in the film, while "Making the Video: Lazy Pirate Day" is a parody of the MTV behind-the-scenes series, covering the making of this scene. The 10 minute length is padded by including the scene here as well. "What Makes Aslo so Irresistible?" is just an excuse to talk to Fred Willard more, after spending a good deal of time with him in two Fox Movie Channel clips, "Making a Spoof" and "In Character with Fred Willard." That leaves "Hot or Not: Character Turn On's and Turn Off's" to finish things off, as several of the film's characters talk about their desires. It seems like most of these would have fit better on Date Movie.

Some cut footage is also included here, in the form of some outtakes and an alternate ending. Don't get your hopes up for anything different in the alternate ending, as it's just plain stupid. The outtakes are a little better, but not very, with the exception of Kal Penn's humorous ad libbing.

"Die Libre" is the winning short film from the Epic Movie Viral Video contest. An amateur film that mashes up Nacho Libre and Die Hard, it's a cute little movie, worth at least one look. The last extra is the trailer Reno 911!: Miami.

The Bottom Line
It takes a special kind of film to make the worst "Saturday Night Live" sketches look well-crafted and hysterical by comparison. Epic Movie is that movie. If seeing things you recognize sends you into hysterics, you better strap yourself down before watching this movie, because that's about all you're going to get, with some bathroom fluids and sounds mixed in. The quality of the DVD is pretty high, much higher than the quality of the film itself, and there's a boatload of extras, though many of them are of the pointless variety. You've got to be a masochist to give this a look, but you can't be stopped from hurting yourself. That's obvious from the amount of money this movie took in at the box office.

HERE IS THE DIRECT DOWNLOAD FOR THE MOVIE EPIC MOVIE.